Did you know that forgiveness is actually a skill? And it's a decision that you can make that you actually have to hold a grudge? And in fact holding a grudge. It's like carrying around a heavy weight and it can really get you down and those around you. So, instead of doing that, why don't you think about forgiveness, contemplate that?

To do that, there is a really great book called forgive for good. And it's Dr. Fred Luskin who offers a comprehensive guide to overcoming your grudges, and that will enhance your well being.

We always want our well being enhanced.

He says, recall and acknowledge the harm that you caused, the harm that you caused, also probably but the harm that was caused to you, so just acknowledge that it existed, and then understand the offender should try to consider this is where Curiosity comes in helpful. Curiosity is the person that offended you how do you think that they got there? What was it in their life? What kind of a belief do they hold? What's the reality of their situation that caused you to be harmed by them?

Realize that choosing to forgive is a gift you can give yourself.

Our ego gets involved when we're really angry and we're holding a grudge and then we think that well, if I forgive that person, I'm they're winning, and they're not winning. If you forgive that person, you're winning that person that can't read your mind. Let's let's remember.

And if you're just sit and carry that anger around with you about the situation forever, or for however long, it's it's just, it's weighing you down, that they can't read this, this caring that. But once you realize that forgiveness is a gift you can give yourself, you can commit to letting things go and you can commit to reducing and letting go of the negative emotions and negativity that comes around grudges, but practicing it's a skill, so "Forgive for Good" Dr. Luskin talks about the fact that it's a skill and there are things that you can do exercises, visualization techniques, all kinds of things that you can do. There's one that I really like, where there's a person that I'm really angry at. They hurt me.

How could I ever forgive them? You don't really know right away how you can but you can. You can sit, close your eyes and picture that person standing in front of you, and then say to them, I love you and I accept you. And I forgive you.

In your mind, watch them turn around and just walk off into the distance walk off into the sunset.

I really liked that visualization technique for practicing the skill of forgiveness. So if you have somebody that you're angry at right now or maybe you're angry at 20 years ago it's never too late. Try forgiving.

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